why…

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I spotted this Japanese maple after a haircut outside of my hair stylist’s. The faint touch of green fading into silver was strikingly impressive. Who would think that a Japanese maple could have white leaves?! The slate concrete wall in the backdrop created a perfect contrast.

As children, we ask a lot of why questions. Why do snakes lay eggs? Why don’t we turn green from eating broccoli? “Why” is one of my favorite questions but I have asked so few of them lately when life got busy (blogged much less than I used to as well. sad…). However, lately, I’ve beens struggling with a question.

Growing up, I dreamed of falling in love (I still do). I believed that marriage was an important step in romance. Marriage is edification and reification of that romance. Despite of the cynicism of people’s opinion in marriage I still maintained that ideal optimism. But I caught myself speechless when asked why do you need to be married.

Is marriage a religious institution? I wasn’t brought up with any religion. After looking into quite a few of them (including Objectivism), I learned that spirituality is a private matter. To get married because God says so is not me.

Marriage brings economic advantages. Tax deduction, insurance benefits, etc. Studies showed that married men make more money and do better. But the last thing I want is to get married so I can depend on someone else financially.

Marriage for kids?! Nah… I love them but not for my own.

Some of my friends say marriage provides stability and security to the relationship. But if you don’t have trust in that relationship to last, why be in it?

Unfortunately, there is so much at stake when one decides to get married. It’s not one of those why don’t I just give it a try kind of things.

Life often finds a way to show me the answer when I ask. I am open to the possibility that marriage is not a necessary path one must take in life to be happy? What am I talking about?!! of course marriage is not required for happiness. So why do people get married?! More importantly, do I want to get married? It’s one of those nice to have kind of thing right?

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This entry was posted by Maya.

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